When one is faced with seemingly insurmountable problems how can we motivate the individual to help him or her change their perception of reality?
A patient of mine had a painful knee-joint for months. She had tried physiotherapy and other forms of treatment and nothing seems to have worked. She was still in pain and felt very miserable and depressed. Looking at her I could see that she was a big woman carrying a fair bit of extra weight. She was middle-aged and was looking for a job. Her knee stopped her from looking for a job. When questioned about her weight problem she became very tearful and she said she had tried everything in the book to lose weight but nothing worked. She hardly ate anything but still could not lose weight. This made her even further depressed. Yes, reality for her presented a grim picture.
Then there was another elderly patient who was also overweight and had knee problems. She had also tried to lose weight but was never successful. She was also depressed about the situation and said she hardly ate anything. There are millions of people in this world today like these two in the same boat experiencing similar problems. They all have one thing in common. They are all looking outside themselves for the solution to their problems. That is, they all think that there is a magic pill out there that will solve all their problems. But is it not that what we all do when we are confronted with a problem? Yet the solution lies within every one of us if we are prepared to look at ourselves.
So how can we help an individual to get out from this negative state into a positive mode? How can we motivate a person to start looking at reality in a different way?
The magic of course lies in the power of our perception. Unless we become aware of this power and use it with some insight to tackle our problems, we can never change. We will be constantly struggling to solve that problem. So how do we go about doing that?
To be able to change one’s perceptions firstly one has to be able to look at oneself. Most people dare not look at themselves because what they see makes them feel uncomfortable. A lot of people have poor self-image. They might even say they hate themselves. Now if you cannot look at yourself in the mirror and do not like yourself, you will never change no matter what you do. You will always be a loser. Why?
This is because it is how you use and stimulate your subconscious mind that counts. Our subconscious mind is the most powerful force that you can use to help yourself and if you block it with a negative, you are defeated even before you start the journey.
Therefore the first thing you have to do is to say to yourself, “I like myself. I am my own best friend” even if you do not mean it. Why do you have to like yourself? Why do you have to be your own best friend? It is simple. You are born in this body and die in this body. You may be the ugliest person on earth, it does not matter. You cannot trade-in this body of yours for a new body. You are stuck with it. So whether you like it or not, you have to like yourself.
Now why must you be your own best friend? You are the only person who lives with yourself 24 hours a day with your thoughts, hopes, fears and desires. No one does. So, married or single, it does not matter, you have to be your own best friend. And if you are own best friend, you should treat yourself nicely and with respect, shouldn’t you? You should learn to take care of yourself.
Then tell yourself, “No one is perfect; there are lots of things I don’t like about myself”‘. Please make a list and then start at the top. “How can I improve here, how can I change there… “
Once you have orientated yourself this way and started thinking this way, you will be amazed to find how positive you will feel about yourself and instead of making mountains out of mole hills, you will be able to turn mountains into mole hills.
It is important to remember that the way you talk to yourself affects your subconscious mind. The meaning of the words does not matter but the type of words you use can have an instant effect. For example, do not say “I hope I will be fine”. Instead say “I am fine”, even if you don’t feel that way, you will feel a lot better. In the first instant you were creating instant doubt in your mind when you were saying “I hope”. Hope is a negative word. Do not you use it frequently in your mind as it is just a bad habit. If you keep doing it, you will suffer anxiety.
Your healing power lies in your subconscious mind. You have to learn to use it. By acquiring self-knowledge you can make life easy for yourself because it is the subconscious mind and how you stimulate it that counts. The world is not going to help you acquire this knowledge. This is the consumer world where everyone panders to your ego and where the consumer is always right. It is an escape orientated exploitive world we have created. In fact the laws of the land lead to us to believe that one is never at fault. If something goes wrong, it is always someone else’s fault. Yes, the world outside you is constantly distorting your perception of reality. If you do not correct it, you will make life very difficult for yourself and suffer the consequences.